When you’re in a gentle and loving relationship, the gay-missionary will often be your standard position. It can feel intimate, rather than purely sexual, involving his mind as well as his body. But it’s good to experiment – your sex life will thrive on variety – and having sex doggy style in a loving relationship has a lot of advantages.
If you’re being bottom, penetration can feel harder and deeper. Enjoy that. Stretch and flex your spine so he’ll need to touch it and stroke it. Encourage him to stroke and slap your buttocks. You’ll be getting way more feeling there. Also, you don’t have to stay down all the time. You can rise to a kneeling position so he’ll slow and hold you. And if it gets too intense you can always turn round. You can use more than one position.
If you’re the top, you get to move at a real pace, but remember to slow down and vary it. You’ll both enjoy better sex if you do. From behind, he looks so sexy, and you can lose yourself in that sight, but take time as well to fall forward and hold him.
You need to keep up a feeling of intimacy. Get a feel for his whole body mass, the whole life bundled inside that body, not just the appearance. Talk to him. Tell him how beautiful he looks. You’re the one here who’s most obviously in charge so it’s important to take responsibility for making him happy.
Enjoy the extra dimension this position will add to your love life. Remember it’s about love too – that isn’t a dirty word – not ‘just’ sex. At the end, or before you switch roles, take time to look in each other’s face again. Kiss him and hold him. Keep yourselves intimate.