It’s true that the missionary position can lead to the most intimate love-making, allowing each man to see and be close to the other’s face, but that needn’t stop it being great sex. Indeed, with the closer emotional involvement, the physical sensations of sex are greatly enhanced.
It helps at the start if the bottom can hold his own legs back. He should feel confident raising his anus and buttocks for his partner to see and appreciate. Don’t rely, in other words, on the top to do all the work. Help him enter you easily. The bottom might use his hands and arms to pull his knees close to his chest, or to support the raised lower back, or – if he’s sufficiently yogic – leave them rested on the bed, spread around him.
Initially, and for the first minutes, each partner’s face and upper torso might seem a long way from the other’s. Be patient. Allow time for the sex to warm up with some deep, slow thrusts, the frictional sensations on either side joining with the satisfaction of filling and being filled. Relax into it and trust in your own and your partner’s feelings. Enjoy the physicality of sex and let your thoughts shift from any distractions left over from the day to focus wholly on what you’re doing now.
Once the top has entered, the bottom is free to experiment with different ways of using his legs. He might pull them further back across his face and torso, open them wider or reach with them around his partner, resting his feet on his partner’s shoulders or cupping them around his head. (A way of practising this is to get good at shoulder stands, exploring how your centre of gravity shifts as you straighten and bend the legs and move them into different positions.) Don’t force your facial expression. If an enticing smile feels natural, fine, but don’t fake it. Allow your face to express your real feelings. Any contrived effects will detract from the intimacy you are achieving.
The most beautiful stage of missionary position sex is when the top lowers himself to rest his chest on his partner’s and their heads – and all the sensory equipment there – come together. This is when the two men can feel they are fully moving together. When it is time to do this, the bottom should be able to keep his knees back without using his arms, and indeed hardly to be aware of the effort his muscles are making to do this. This allows each man to hold each other closely, for the top to wrap his arms around the bottom and the bottom to hug and stroke – and even scratch – the top’s torso. The degree of penetration might be lesser at first, but will increase, particularly as the top nears his orgasm. It is possible the penis might slip out, but the anus will be open and relaxed by now and entering again very easy.
Because your faces are so close, the different feelings of each partner will tend to be readily shared and vicariously participated in by the other. The bottom, in other words, seems to feel the top’s orgasm himself. Because of this, it is wonderful for each if, after reaching orgasm, the top stays inside and the two men hold each other. To withdraw straight away would be, in a sense, to reject the shared feelings. After the energetic togetherness of sex, this is the time to be intimate quietly.