Many men masturbate the way couples use the missionary sex position: they keep repeating the same old, same old. We know that it’s totally normal and orgasm has a range of health benefits – reducing stress, releasing endorphin (happy) chemicals in your brain, improving your understanding of your sexual self – oh, and helping you sleep.
You might not exactly be bored with having one off the wrist, but making an effort to expand the repertoire of how you masturbate can have big benefits – including more explosive orgasms than you have ever experienced before. There are all sorts of tips and techniques – and, though some will work for you better than others, you can give yourself a heck of a lot of pleasure discovering which.
Masturbation techniques
First off, as most circumcised men know, masturbation can be easily improved with the addition of lube. If you are uncircumcised, the head of your penis will be quite sensitive behind that protective foreskin. But, instead of running that skin over the head, lube it up and rub it – just the head directly – over and over again – and particularly work on the frenulum, that bridge of skin behind the head that is bristling with nerve endings. When you come, enjoy watching it squirt through your fingertips.
One simple change-up is to swap hands. Most men always use their dominant hand to pump one out. It should give you a sensually unfamiliar feeling. A variation of this is to sit on one hand until it ‘goes to sleep’ (slightly numb) then use it to wank with – and you can fantasize that you are being jerked off by a stranger. Then there’s a whole range of different grips you can use – ring, thumb, campfire, prayer grip (more on those in a later piece).
Try, instead of pumping with your hand(s), thrusting into them (again, lube helps). Cup both hands and make pelvic thrusts into them. It may take a little getting used to – but can work well in standing and kneeling positions – though some even like it flat on their back.
While we’re on thrusting, try humping things. Many boys discovered the joys of self-love by face-down rubbing their cocks on the bedsheets. You could try thrusting between the mattress and the bed base. Go crazier – there’s American Pie and there’s the old saying ‘A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure – but a melon for ecstacy’. And just be downright rude, come all over a favourite t-shirt, or wank through – and into – your underwear.
Woody Allen said, ‘Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love.’ And it’s someone who is giving you their whole body as a sexual playground. So, see how you feel about squeezing your nipples, holding your balls (maybe in a ring grip and tugging gently). Then there’s the perineum (taint) – the smooth area between your balls and anus. It’s a heck of an erogenous zone: gentle caresses feel sensuous, though firm pressure on it as you are nearing climax can result in a really explosive orgasm.
Anal sex play to masturbate
In the male sexual playground, the hottest hotspot is the prostate gland, otherwise known as the male G-spot. Don’t be bothered that it’s up your bum – you can reach it by inserting your finger about two inches into your lower bowel, until you feel a bump about the size of a walnut on the front wall. With this move, lots of lube is essential. Stroking the prostate alone can bring you to a quick and hefty orgasm.
As you progress with anal sex play, try vibrating or still buttplugs. Buy ones that won’t get lost up there and that are easy to extract once you’ve shot your load. Guys can sit on a chair so it’s forced up deeply into them, making them feel stretched and penetrated.
Using sex toys to masturbate
While we’re on sex toys, most men will now know of hands-free masturbation devices. These basically provide a vibrating tube that you push your penis into. The most well known brand – and one of the first and still best – is the Fleshlight, and is readily available online. There are ones that imitate a vagina or a butt.
Another suggestion is to vary the location. Surely, most men have gotten themselves off in the shower. You can jet the water from the shower head directly up your arse while you rub your soapily-lubed cock until you shoot all over yourself. And you’ll smell fresh and look glowingly innocent as you emerge from the bathroom. Other places that can be really sexy are jerking off in your car, the cinema or under the tablecloth at a restaurant. The risk can make the experience mind-blowing – just don’t get caught!
Give a final thought to not coming – repeatedly. It’s called edging – otherwise known as the denial wank. Edging can improve both your sexual stamina and the quality of your orgasms. It’s a simple technique, though it takes a certain amount of willpower and practice to achieve. To do it you bring yourself to the brink – then it’s: Wank, don’t come. Wank, don’t come. Wank, don’t come. Repeat until you think you’re going to die if you don’t immediately shoot your load. When you finally allow yourself to orgasm, the result will be earth-shakingly intense.
Not only is edging unparalleled in its intensity as the best of the best, it’s great for improving your sexual stamina, too – and particularly for those who suffer from premature ejaculation.
So, get down and dirty with yourself. Find a private space and allow yourself plenty of time to try out new techniques. Have any lube or toys readily to hand (!) and make sure you won’t be disturbed. New things are always strange but resist the temptation to go back to your (boring) old ways. Instead, go on the adventure of exploring the many, many different methods there are out there for having sex with the someone you can be sure you love.