Vaginal wetness is a major key for ensuring pleasurable penetrative sex. Vaginal dryness – which often increases with age – causes soreness and even tiny microtears in the delicate inner lining and can increase the risk of infection. If this is your problem, you are not alone. Nearly one in five women over the age of twenty say they can’t get wet enough for fully comfortable sex.
Can You Get Too Wet..?
On the other hand, you can rarely get ‘too wet’. Most men respond to you being wet as a sign of how capable they are as lovers in so obviously turning you on. And, a real plus is that if plenty of lubrication slightly reduces the friction for him, that should cause him to take longer to climax and allow you to enjoy sex for longer.
Arousal Wetness
Vaginas are normally a little bit wet, with a clear or white fluid. This is part of the vagina’s self-cleaning process which varies through the menstrual cycle. When you’re turned on, it is natural for extra lubrication – arousal wetness – to happen in order to make penetration more comfortable. This is not the same as normal daily wetness, with this including added lubrication coming from the Skene’s and Bartolin glands – not so different from the male prostate gland which produces the fluid that carries the semen. And, just as with men, blood rushes to the genitals – though in the woman’s case this not only causes some swelling of the vulval area but also the release of these lubricants as the vaginal walls “sweat” this fluid.
Vaginal wetness and true arousal should go together – though they don’t always and almost any woman will face dryness at some point. A number of factors can affect how wet you get at any particular time. These include what phase you are in your menstrual cycle (you’ll likely be wetter closer to ovulation and dryer during menstruation), medications, recreational drugs or alcohol, physical activity, stress levels, and whether you’ve reached menopause.
Ways To Increase Your Natural Lubrication
There are several ways that you can help yourself increase the amount of lubrication your vagina produces. Mostly, that involves increasing your own degree of arousal. Make sure you know your own body – and by that we mean fully exploring self-pleasuring. Not just by masturbating but by also massaging your abdomen, thighs and breasts. Ensure that you know how your body likes to be touched – and bring that into foreplay both yourself and ‘training’ your partner.
Encourage them to engage in plenty of foreplay. Taking time to build your arousal is a huge factor in countering vaginal dryness and getting your juices flowing. As your sexual arousal increases, the vagina, labia and clitoris swell with more blood flowing to them. Not only does your natural lubrication increase but the elasticity of the vagina itself does, too.
If the skin is the biggest sex organ, the brain is the most powerful. The less you feel you can mentally relax fully into going with the sexual flow, the harder it is to get wet. Negative feelings about your body, your sexual capability, your relationship or your partner can severely affect your ability to become fully aroused. Work on your own confidence and in finding ways fully to surrender to the sexual experience. Learn to love yourself (see our article https://www.loversguide.com/relationships-advice/relationship-problems/self-love-is-great-for-you-and-your-relationship/ ). When lovemaking begins try to release any feelings of stress or tension. Concentrate on moving your body sensually – and try moaning, as you move, to fully immerse yourself in every sensation.
Hormone Treatments
Breastfeeding, some prescription drugs and then menopause can all cause a decrease in the b
ody’s production of the female hormone, estrogen. That not only leads to the ability for the body naturally to lubricate but also to the vaginal tissues thinning. Building up this hormone can be done through several forms – pill, skin patch, or cream. Then there is the DHEA hormone, an effective alternative to estrogen therapy. It is inserted directly into the vagina and converts into estrogen. Both hormones need to be prescribed by a doctor.
The vasodilator, sildenafil (mainly known as Viagra and used to treat erectile dysfunction in men), can be used as a topical cream and applied to the tip of the clitoris just before intercourse. It works by triggering more blood flow to the area which in itself causes more natural lubrication to be created. It is claimed both to improve pleasure and help the woman to achieve orgasm.
Comercial Lubes
When natural methods are failing, there are always commercial lubricants. The best ones are water or silicone based (there are oil-based ones but they can damage condoms). Water-based ones can dry out quite quickly and so may need to be reapplied. Silicone-based lubes are better for longer sex sessions – and, not being water-based, keep working during shower sex and sex in the bath or pool.
Vaginal dryness is all too common and yet can usually be overcome by most women. It will reap huge benefits to avoid painful intercourse and enjoy pleasurable penetrative sex.