Anal sex comes top of the list for a lot of men of things they’d really, really like to try. Maybe it’s because it’s a little bit naughty, as it were forbidden fruit. Maybe he’s been watching porn, where anal sex is a staple, and has come to believe the whole world must be doing it. Maybe there’s an element of power-play involved, and that’s the sexual kick. Maybe it’s that your ass is tight, so there’s a real grip on his penis, and real friction. Exploring anal sex positions is, let’s face it, not to everyone’s taste, but there are those, and plenty of them, who discover – to his delight! – they really rather like it. Here are some tips if you’d like to know if anal sex could be right for you.
Start with anal sex play. That is to say, don’t go straight for his penis in your ass. That could well be too much too soon. If you’re not used to being pleasured through your anus when have sex, you might well be tense, clenched, and it then becomes a case of bashing the square peg through the round hole – far from pleasurable.
Instead, while he’s giving you oral sex, and when you are fully aroused and into it, get him to slip an immaculately groomed and fully lubed fingertip around your anus, and only just probing inside. Better yet, apply the rule: You don’t put your dick where your mouth doesn’t go. In other words, he needs to move from his oral sex on your clitoris, vagina, your genitals, to go all the way around the world to lick on your anus too. If he wants to put his penis in it, he can love it this way also first. Ladies, it can be a nice feeling, his doing this. It’s called ‘rimming’, which we might (possibly) consider a borrowed term from gay lovemaking. Have him try to probe with his tongue. It can feel good for you – his tongue is probably no match for your sphincters – and it might teach him a little about how sensitive people are down there.
While we’re on the subject of knowing how certain sexual acts make your partner feel, it is clearly recumbent on him to take a finger – at least – up his ass while we’re all generally working on getting happy with anal sex play. Now, since it’s him, you might want to work solely on the natural fluids front. A.) That’ll teach him: your natural, vaginal fluids are not, surprise surprise, anal lube. B.) That’ll teach him: we’re spelling careful here: C-A-R-E-F-U-L. Fridge magnets and go to the top of the class.
A lot of guys do find this degree of anal sex play on them a real boost to masturbation or oral sex. While this is about reciprocity – he needs to know the feelings he wants you to have, and to know how to manage them – this is should be a highly pleasurable process for him as well. Indeed, he might love you to explore anal sex play for him going further, using butt-plugs, dildos, or strap-ons. A lot of straight guys are really into this.
Your turn! If this is the first time for you trying anal sex, then it’s likely you’ll be surprised by how it feels. In terms of anal sex positions, some say that going doggy-style is easiest, but really it may be than a variation on missionary sex positions, with your knees right back to your chest, relaxes and opens you up most fully. Get him to tease you with the tip of his penis – all that lube applied – and maybe finger you. Then, unless he’s huge, it really shouldn’t be too much to take him inside.
A lot now depends on the mood you’re in, as to which sex positions you choose. If he remains kneeling, upright, holding your legs back, then he’ll go hard if he wants to. Or, if he lays himself over you, a la missionary, he can hold you and this can be a more intimate experience. It’s worth bearing in mind as well that some positions more readily allow for your clitoral stimulation at the same time than others.
Two words of warning. Do not let him put his penis in your vagina after you have been having anal sex. That way infection lies. Also, while you’re not likely to get pregnant from anal sex (it is remotely conceivable cum could dribble down and find its way into your vagina), that doesn’t mean this is safe sex, and condoms should still be used with casual partners.