Group sex for lesbians isn’t the first thing that springs to mind as usual behaviour. Lesbians are usually seen as the nesting sort that get into a relationship as soon as possible and disappear off the scene for a while.
Not necessarily so. Although it may not be as visible an activity for lesbians as it is for gay men, it still happens, and probably more than one would think.
In recent years, a number of private organised nights have sprung up and become very successful. However, you don’t need to go to an organised night to engage in fun, consensual group sex – but there are a few rules you need to keep in mind to ensure it all goes smoothly.
Consent
It may sound too obvious, but you need to ensure that everyone playing is consensual. People may not necessarily be being forced into it, but if someone is too drunk or intoxicated, then it’s not fair on them to encourage them to engage in group sex.
Trust
There is no point entering into a sexual relationship with anyone, no matter who they are or how many of them there are at any one time, without trust. You need to know that if you are seen having group sex, it won’t be repeated to anyone – nor will any photos or films be taken to be distributed on the internet.
Safe sex
Whilst lesbians are at lower risk of contracting HIV, there are many other health implications to think about. Don’t share any toys unless they are completely clean, or a condom is used on them. Make sure everyone is clean themselves, and if they do have an STI, ensure that gloves are used. A dental dam is also a good idea.
Respect
Another key rule. Not just respecting each other, but also having enough self-respect to know when to say no to something you are not comfortable with. You have to have the confidence to be able to say enough is enough, or simply walk away when things go in a direction you’re not willing to take. Always remember to respect other’s wishes too, or you could find yourself in some serious trouble.
No matter what type of group sex you choose to engage in, or where it might be, it’s absolutely crucial to stay safe. Ensuring your friends know what you are up to in case of any difficulties is a good start, but also make sure you know what you are getting into and with whom – group sex can be a surprisingly emotional experience, which can lead to low self esteem and confidence. Unless you are truly happy with your sexuality and body, and are happy to potentially experience some form of scrutiny, then it would be best to avoid group sex until you have matured sexually and emotionally.