All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years – and though every relationship is unique – there are some key indicators for what makes a healthy relationship.
First off, you maintain a deep emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you.
Healthy relationships have lots of laughter and fun. This doesn’t mean you’re giddy every hour of the day—or that your partner doesn’t drive you up the wall sometimes—but it does mean that your life together is mostly happy in sometimes simple ways: making dinner, laughing at the same things, even finishing each others’ sentences…
Healthy relationships are based in reality. Relationship don’t suddenly get better if you win the lottery, have a baby, or move into your dream house. You never base your partnership on the hope that it will change. You recognize that neither of you is perfect, and you accept and value each other for who you are right now—not who you might become.
Healthy Relationships Are Built On Communication Without Reservation Or Secrets
Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. Disagreements are normal, so if you aren’t fighting, chances are you’re holding back. But when people in healthy relationships fight, they fight productively and fairly. That means avoiding name-calling or put-downs. It also means striving to understand your partner instead of trying to score points. And when you’re wrong? You apologize.
You feel safe expressing things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and are able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right. Relationships thrive when couples can express themselves freely and honestly. That means no topic is off-limits, and you both feel heard. You ensure that consistent communication is part of building your lasting life together.
Both you and your partner keep outside interests and relationships alive. You understand that actually no-one person can wholly meet all of your needs and don’t become too co-dependent. You don’t expect too much from your partner to the extent of putting unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Both parties sustain their own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests. Sometimes your partner needs to work longer hours while you play chauffeur and head chef. Or you must devote time to an elderly parent while your spouse tackles the chores. That’s life. What matters is that, in the long run, you make sure your trade-offs are fair.
Sex is an important part of healthy relationships, but it’s only one part, and it’s different than intimacy, which is less about physical satisfaction than about bonding, friendship, and familiarity. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you’ll feel connected—in and out of bed.
Your relationship should be a safety net—a stable place to come home to at the end of the day. That doesn’t mean you don’t fight—it just means that when things are hard, you’d always rather see your partner than anyone else. When you have issues and concerns, you share them with your partner, not your coworkers at Happy Hour. You’ll always have your friends as a sounding board, of course, but not as a crutch to avoid hard conversations with your significant other.
Sex is an important part of your healthy relationships. You recognize, though, that it’s different from intimacy, which is less about physical satisfaction than about bonding, friendship, and familiarity. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you feel connected—in and out of bed.
You recognize that a big part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.
You both frequently say the magic words: ‘I love you’, ‘Thank You’ and ‘I’m sorry’. You make expressing your love verbally — and nonverbally — a regular part of your relationship maintenance even when other relationship resolutions are seeming harder to sustain.