In a healthy relationship, where you both talk to each other, it really shouldn’t be the case that the guy is worrying if the girl really did have an orgasm just then, or was that just a touch exaggerated? Guys do want their partners to have an orgasm – and this can put pressure on women too if they don’t want to ‘disappoint’. Explore sex positions to enhance her orgasm, and to help her come (almost) every time.
First off, we need to say something – yet again – that a lot of people still don’t seem to know or, maybe, accept: most women do not have an orgasm through intercourse alone. In other words: penis in vagina alone doesn’t do it for most people. Lose the phrase ‘vaginal orgasm’. Men and women both were taught, falsely, for too long, that the summit of coital bliss is the ‘vaginal orgasm’, the natural culmination of intercourse ‘as it should be’, and men and women both have come to think of themselves as substandard or sexually dysfunctional should this homey ideal elude them, as it usually does.
The clitoris is key, both the visible clitoris and the erectile tissue as it extends within the body, and which can be stimulated through the vaginal wall. Use foreplay, with your hands and tongue, so that she has an orgasm first even before you enter her, or is yearning for you inside, then choose sex positions which maximize clitoral stimulation, both with you penis and groin, and with hands and toys.
Boosting Missionary
Survey after survey reports missionary position sex as being many women’s favourite. Women value the intimacy of missionary sex, the feel of their partner’s weight upon them, the skin on skin, and the proximity of their and their lover’s face, so they can kiss and hear and feel his breathing. The intimacy and emotional connection are important for orgasm. Additionally, lift yourself forward a little and grind with your pubic bone against her clitoris. Alternate thrusts with angled, rocking movements. With your hands, encourage your partner to bend her legs and rest her feet on your thighs or buttocks. This deepens penetration and increases the pressure of your pubic bone on her clitoris, so increasing stimulation.
To increase clitoral stimulation further, have a cushion placed beneath her buttocks/lower back. This also alters the angle of penetration, and can help to stimulate the clitoris from within the vagina. It is also very easy from this position to take a little while to pause, kneel, and use your hands or a toy to deepen her arousal. This is quite a dominant position. Raised on your arms, reach down to kiss her ears and neck.
Coital Alignment Technique
The position for Coital Alignment Technique isn’t too far away from missionary. The man rests his weight on his partner, penetrates, then moves forward, bringing his pelvis directly over hers. She keeps her legs straight as she wraps them around his. She presses up, and the movement then is a gentle, rhythmic rocking, which proceeds without speeding up to orgasm. There is a feeling of the orgasm coming to greet you, rather than being chased.
Legs Up
One magic touch to man-on-top sex positions is to raise and angle one or both of the woman’s legs toward her chest. This works because it tightens the vagina, and pulls together all the tissues surrounding and nearby the vagina, including the clitoris, which can now get more of an indirect massage through your thrusting. It’s especially good if you are not so well endowed as you might wishful-think about. With plenty of non-penetrative sex play to set the scene, positions such as the chest-lock or the one-leg-lift really can and usually do ‘wow’. Once again, it’s the clitoris. Yes, everything else you’re doing inside and out is, we hope, contributing whole swathes of beautiful sensation which are all flowing into her orgasm. But the clitoris is key.