Your hands are finely tuned instruments. Having opposable thumbs puts us among the higher primates. They are highly sensitive sexual tools, too. How well you use your hands on a partner says a lot about how good a lover you are.
An orgasm, no matter how it is triggered, is a series of involuntary muscular contractions. Those muscles span out into a woman’s inner thighs, which means that they are a part of every orgasm. So, when you begin by touching her there, you are in direct contact with her wider orgasmic platform. And, the inner thighs are very erogenous. No one touches a woman’s there but her lover.
How to do it? She may like to feel your fingers move slowly up and down her thighs. If you want to be a little stronger, you might run your finger nails over them or grip them with confidence while you tell her how hot she is. This will get her heart thumping before you even head for her sweet spots.
Stir more anticipation by holding the palm of your hand over her whole vulva, pressing against it while covering her completely with the warmth of your hand. Hold it there longer than you think you should. Hold it until she starts to wiggle and ask for more.
Ready for friction? She is. You could try using lube – either water or silicone based – or nature’s own, your saliva. Lube protects her skin from the microscopic friction burns that can happen even during light play.
Tips For Giving Her The Best Hand Job
Run your wet fingers up and down, from her perineum (not anus!) to near her clit, dipping a finger or two just inside her vaginal opening every now and then. Let your middle finger be the lead with your thumb grazing her clit with each stroke. Then watch. Her breath will deepen and her body should begin to open up. Pay attention to her response and develop the pace and rhythm that meets her needs. Beware, though, some women don’t like any penetration and just want clitoral stimulation on the outside.
The clitoris may look like a button or a pea or a pearl that is covered by a protective hood of skin, right where the labia come together above the vaginal opening, but actually extends inches into her body. Thousands of nerve endings gather at the tip. Some clits are so sensitive that she may not want you to touch it at all. Other women want a lot of circular or side-to-side motion, and pressure on it against the pubic bone. Some women prefer a little rubbing to the left or the right. Learn her. Start light, gauge her response and put what you learn to work.
Here’s an easy one, if she’s up for it: encourage her to touch herself, watch what she does and then steal her moves. When a woman touches herself, she is communicating with you. She will talk with her body, so watch for subtle movements, tension, release of tension, quivers, hips rising, toes pointing, breath being held or becoming deeper. Pay attention, be present and learn her body.
You should discover whether she likes fingers penetrating her – and how many – or whether she prefers just outside clitoral stimulation, or a combination of the two.
If your intent is to excite her, then experiment. If your intent is to help her achieve an orgasm, then you want to go for consistent, rhythmic movements. You might feel her thighs or pelvic muscles pumping with your motions. If not, tell her you’d like to feel her muscles pump with you. This can inspire her to a bigger orgasm. When you find the motion and the spot that has her going over the edge, stay there – don’t let up. The worst thing you can do is find something she really likes and then move on to something else without responding to her reaction.
Regardless of gender or orientation, there are no sexual tools that can compare to your hands. From the soft pads of your fingertips to the warm palm of your hand and all the little muscles that make their movements so versatile, your hands are amazing. Keep them in top condition. Learning to use them fully will then be an amazing experience for both of you.