It has been said that there are good evolutionary reasons for her clitoris being on the outside, where your penis doesn’t do a great deal to stimulate. (Yes, we know: the clitoris is a far larger structure than appears on the outside, stretching back into her body, above her vagina and with legs around the urethra, so your penis might there do a little something to stimulate, if you’re huge. Meanwhile, uptown?) It has been said that this particular distribution of pleasure bits inclines the beautiful sex in terms of partner selection to men who have such qualities of care, intelligence, attention to detail, even selflessness, as are most suited to getting women off – qualities we can surely all admire. It has also been said that all our sexual-physiological arrangements prove is that God is not a woman, but let us eschew such pseudo-metaphysical guff. Men, her clitoris is your opportunity to shine. You have the key. You have a tongue, you have lips, you have lubricated fingertips, a veritable Chubb-lock of ecstasy. And you have her sex toys.
Getting to know her sex toys
The first thing, then, to do is to say something along the lines of: ‘I’m really aware that you have your own sexual needs and my penis alone might very well not be all that it takes to do it for you. So I was wondering, as well as all I can offer by way of oral sex, do you like using sex toys too? Because if you do, it would be great if we could bring them into our lovemaking. You could have loads of orgasms that way. For myself, I’m happy with just the one.’ Or words to that effect. You get the idea.
She may not have any sex toys. It’s possible. If that is the case, browse our affiliate partner’s shop for rabbit vibrators. It’s the basic, standard sex toy every woman loves. It could even be amazing for you to be there with her, if she never has used a rabbit before. Make love while she’s first exploring it. You’ll be amazed – especially if you have never been with a woman while she’s using a sex toy. It is orgasmic – and don’t worry, this is no reflection on what you have going on here.
It may, on the other hand, be she has a selection of favourite toys, which she’s used for masturbation, before she met you or when you weren’t around. She may feel it’s a private indulgence, and even be a little self-conscious about how she is when she orgasms using the toys. Give the love. Kiss and cradle her. Give her her first orgasm when you’re having sex, through oral sex or masturbation, then make a joke of it; say your tongue’s tired, but you’re not ready to come and so effectively finish things for yourself just yet, so let’s spend a little more time on more of hers.
Well, you know your partner – or right now you’re beginning to. All the love and compatibility can be there, but it’s still a little step to take before we share what we might be used to considering private things.
If she has a vibrator, hold her and caress her as she uses the vibrator on herself. Give emotional support – show your love and be part of it – and watch carefully what she does. Then ask if you can try. Ask her to guide you, her hand on yours. As you get the knack and she becomes more aroused, she can caress herself or you. As she loses herself in orgasm, be careful to maintain the stimulation you and her toy are offering.
When she has experienced this orgasm, now might be the time to enter her with your penis. This is good for you because you don’t have to worry so much about performance or giving her all satisfaction. You can relax and do what’s nice for you. It’s good for her because you might well keep getting her off, so she can have multiple orgasms, especially if you enter her just at the right time, when her orgasm has peeked, and before her arousal has subsided into the resolution stage.
Explore different sex toys together, to find out what she most likes, and what suits both of you best in your lovemaking. Browse together all of the sex toys on offer in the Lovers’ Guide online shops. Enjoy!