What is the sexual power balance in your relationship? Is it equal – or are you the dominant partner or the one domineered over? How much is power an aphrodisiac for you or for your partner? Power in any domain — financial power, power over colleagues in the workplace, even temporary power over peers — is associated with increased sex drive. See how many people in power have heightened libidos – and get in trouble for it.
BDSM meaning | BDSM definition | Sex and power
Many people strongly associate power with sex. High sex-drive people seek it out: power. Some lovers turn to BDSM – bondage and sadomasochism. BDSM involves a diverse range of practices to do with role-playing games in which one person assumes a dominant role and another person assumes a submissive role. Activities may involve physical restraint, power plays, humiliation, and sometimes pain.
The one playing the dominant role controls the action. The person in the submissive role gives up control. This ‘sub’ takes pleasure in doing so – compare this with the role of ‘slave’. People usually have a preferred role they play most of the time. There are noticeable gender differences in how people assort into these roles. Among females, over three-quarters are subs, while doms are very much in the minority. Roles are a little more evenly spread among the males.
Power and sex in non-BDSM sexual relationships
In relationships that don’t go as far as BDSM, it is interesting that, although men are assumed to be more sexually assertive than women, the relationship between power and sexual assertiveness turns out to be the same for both genders. Across nations with relative gender equality – as women gain power – gender differences in sexual attitudes and behaviours may trend to zero.
A BDSM streak?
Power is associated with enhanced sexual confidence: in one study, those in positions of power also rated themselves as higher in sexual assertiveness. Such individuals were more comfortable initiating sex and communicating their sexual needs and desires, so it should come as no surprise that they also claimed increased sexual satisfaction. So, having more power may boost our sex lives, but increased power may also cause some negative consequences.
Power imbalance may work against monogamous relationships. Men and women who indicate a higher status in the power hierarchy, such as, at work, also report more instances of infidelity, as well as a stronger intention to engage in future infidelities. Power causes increased confidence in ability to attract new partners; this makes powerful people, men and women, more likely to engage in infidelity.
Your relationship
People in positions of power not only overrate their partner’s sexual interest in them but also act in a more sexualized manner toward their partners. This, coupled with the misperception of sexual interest, even leads to sexual abuse. Power is strongly associated with sex and can have beneficial and detrimental effects on our sexual relationships. It is best to combine equal power with strong sexual self-confidence.